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Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?”God simply replied “You are what you are.”The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him “Well, did God straighten out your query for you?”The zebra looked puzzled. “No sir, God simply said ‘You are what you are’.”St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra “Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.”The zebra asked St. Peter “How do you know that for certain?”“Because” said St. Peter “If you were black with white stripes, God would have said “You is what you is...”For three years, the young attorney had been taking his vacations at this country inn. The previous year he’d finally managed to close the deal with the innkeeper’s daughter.Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, and then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!“Helen, why didn’t you write when you learned you were pregnant?” he cried. “I would have rushed up. I still saw her and her family on a daily basis, including times when she was wearing a pretty skimpy suit at the pool and on the beach.Then it just happened. I didn't plan it and after the incident I instantly regretted it. She worked at a local bank and came home about the same hour every day. I had seen her come and go to work many times in the past, sometimes with her daughter but not always. This particular Tuesday she was alone. She happened to be coming up the steps to their third floor apartment when I was coming down. As usual she was wearing a very lightweight short dress, which seemed to be her favorite style. As she walked past me, I looked back up, knowing I would get a good look under her dress. The location of the stairs was rather isolated and I was in no real danger of being noticed. Instead, after we exchanged hellos she just happened to turn around and face me just as we passed, I'm sure innocently. I let her go the next two steps up before I spoke.Without warning.
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